The latter

Is there a fine line between fighting and passion?! And when will it be crossed?! Will it ever?! Are you too proud?! Or am I delusional.

Impress no one.

It should never be about showing off and trying to be the prettiest, funniest, smartest person to win the boy over. It shouldn't be like that, it should be he likes you for who you are even when you're not so pretty and when you're hysterical laughing at the stupid thing you just said or did, that is when he should realize how great you really are and how stupid he is for the time he wasted. Don't you want someone who loves you for who you are and not for the perfect image you think he wants in hopes that he will finally notice you?! If he didn't already, his loss. Move on.

as simple as that

How it should be

Lifeless body

Today I gave up. It was a strange feeling. A feeling of complete emptiness. But my insides still hurt. I sat on my floor and yelled I give up. Too many bad things happen to me. I couldn't handle it. I've never given up like that before....Something changed.

A kiss on the cheek

"...and you keep telling yourself that that one tiny, insignificant detail that he said or did was different and could somehow show something that you hope against all odds is true, and you dwell on it, making it bigger than it really is and you lie to yourself saying just maybe this time will be different and maybe that gesture means something, because it is better than this feeling of utter loneliness, but trust me, it is and will always be nothing. You will always be nothing."

hate.

I miss having a party and people being with me when I fell asleep and to help in the morning deal with the mess from the night before. I hate feeling alone. And even worse being alone.

Today I had a party and ended the night crying, I dont know exactly why I cried, I just dont like feeling alone and feeling like nothing good ever happens to me, EVER! and how ugly I am and how no one really likes me and kind of feeling used.... again. I dont know, all I know is i actually cried when I thought of my mom because I need her, I need someone to actually care that I'm not okay, not even close. Honestly wouldnt even care being dead right now. And that scares me more than anything. I just want something to go good in my life, and for me to feel appreciated. I do so much for people, would I get the same in return?! or even a thank you?! is that so much to ask?! I care and try to help when other people are upset, do they care at all with me?!

I'm not a terrible person, why cant someone anyone like me?! like seriously WHAT THE FUCK?!