Closing thoughts

I want to be different I want them to care and miss me and regret losing me as a friend. But then I think about how they treated Jolie and Michelle. I should really say jess bc Maria just follows whatever jess does and how she thinks. Jess didn't so much as talk about them so I doubt she missed them and they were at one point as close as we were so I'm sure I'm just the same. She resents me for not contacting her which is bullshit bc I tried more than I shouldve. She really was so quick to walk away after all we've been through, it took a lot for me to just walk away it was hard and I'm sure for her it wasn't. I tried not to show it and it got easier as time went on. I figured time would help us but instead it put this awkward barrier between us that proves how much we're not friends anymore. Nelly once said to me that she would never just walk away from me, that she would fight for me no matter what I did. That's what a true friend does, they at least try to work it out, if it doesn't then fine but u don't just walk away, not if u really care about them. A part of me wants to tell her all this but the other part says what's the point, she's a shitty friend and I want her to know that but she won't take any blame for it. I want to get it off my chest I want her to know what she did but it won't do any good its not gonna change anything, so again what's the point.