She will never fully understand my misery.

The way Christine talks about my mom (yes mine) on fb and myspace angers me. She talks about how she lost someone to cancer and how upsetting it is. It's all a lie. Does she know the feeling of getting a phone call from your mom telling you she has cancer? The complete helplessness of knowing you can't do a damn thing about it? Not being able to get in touch with anyone at the hospital and sitting on the kitchen floor hyperventilating? Driving around the hospital trying to find a parking space for an hour hysterical crying because all you want to do is see her? Lying to yourself that everything will be okay and saying it over and over again? The sympathetic looks and pity from people you've known your whole life? Hearing her puke every single day? Saying to God how much you hate him for how much pain she was in and if she died we'd be done? Wishing it was you instead? Trying to get her to eat something? The moment you heard your mom was going off chemo? The moment you realized what that really meant? The hospice nurse coming in and telling you how you're suppose to deal with this situation? Watching her die?! Hearing her talk complete nonsense from all the drugs? Hearing her last words? Hearing her moaning in pain? Laying with her a few hours before she took her last breath, telling her its okay for her to give in because I knew how much pain she was in, lying to her in her incoherent state, because in no way was it ever okay? Being woken up by your dad and being told the worst words in the world "Shes gone"? Watching your strong tough dad cry? Being in a funeral full of people while you're trying so hard no to be hysterical? Going home laying on the floor crying until there was nothing left? Talking to her picture out loud because you miss her that much? listening to her phone say 'Lauren' in her voice over and over again? Smelling her perfume to be reminded of her hugs? Missing her every single day of your life to the point where it literally does not stop hurting? Feeling completely lost and alone without her?

She has NO idea how it feels like to lose a loved one to cancer, not even close. How dare she try to act like she does.